Think Fast Hipster

Thank you for Giving a Fuck...

2010-12-01T09:15:00.000-08:00

Its the Super Live Toy Drive! This year lets give a fuck! Give to the fucking kids, Dont be a dick... Oh yea, remember, "with the tags fags" only new shit gets you a Holiday Heat disk.

This is real... Christ...

Linked on King Shit = First post in Months

2010-11-29T11:32:00.001-08:00

Just some pictures off my computer, for shits and gigs... I actually have a lot of material I could post, maybe I will, maybe I wont...

From the DEad

2010-06-24T16:53:00.000-07:00

Fingers!

2010-03-08T09:44:00.001-08:00

I Told You So...

2010-03-04T12:32:00.000-08:00

There are a bunch more, and like I said, I told you it was good for you.

A post for the Season....

2009-12-24T09:42:00.000-08:00

1991 BOTY

2009-12-04T14:53:00.000-08:00

Since today we will find out who is this the 2009 Skater of the Year, I have decided to celebrate one of my other favourite "of the Years". Personally I think that the 1991 BOTY was definatly one of the greatest beards of all time, but thats just me. Also this blog is awesome and a true inspiration, thanks for the beard vid. Enjoy.

For your Health...

2009-12-04T14:39:00.000-08:00

Dr. Steve Brule - Click here for this week’s top video clips

Goodbye Skateboarding...

2009-11-30T14:20:00.000-08:00

This is the first video in a while I couldn't make it all the way through. The last one, well lets just say that I am afraid to even post the link to it and I only made it until the 4th execution. Yes this shit is that fucking sick.

Christian Gangsters + Real Talk = Side Hugs

2009-11-25T10:39:00.001-08:00

The Christian side hug. No front hugs or kissing cause you got to keep your mind pure. If you front hug the terrorists have won, also regular huggin' has just gotten too pornographic.

Always wanted to attend the gathering but...

2009-11-24T16:17:00.000-08:00

It always seems I'm in jail for rape.

Slayer, the chicken fingers of metal...

2009-11-23T15:22:00.000-08:00

Cant remember where this came from, sorry to the photo shop master mind who created it. If you think about it so much is going on in this photo its insane.

Shitbrain...

2009-11-20T11:03:00.000-08:00

A good site can be found here

Why Do Kids call 360 Flips Tre Bombs?

2009-11-18T13:07:00.001-08:00

Are they trying to sound all fancy? Grey poupon is fucking mustard no mater which way you look at it. I know that doesn't make much sense but neither does leaving the sticker on you new baseball cap. Jus' saying.

And the Results are in...

2009-11-12T16:02:00.000-08:00

Looks like most of you would gladly fuck this greasy bastard. Nice Backside Mike...

Thats my Shit....

2009-11-12T11:07:00.000-08:00

On a roll...

2009-11-10T16:05:00.001-08:00

Tomorrow is a holiday. I will be going out this evening, something tells me dress code will be the opposite of this. I am smoking all my smokes tonight too.

I hate Mondays...

2009-11-09T09:09:00.001-08:00

Real talk...

Its a Poll, you bimbo...

2009-11-06T16:06:00.000-08:00

In an attempt to see if anyone actually cares to stroll through my shit pastures anymore... I ask you this question... would you hit that? I will post the results next week some time.

Why not....

2009-11-06T16:05:00.000-08:00

Not like anyone sees this.

A Feeble attempt to give you something to come back here for...

2009-11-04T09:08:00.000-08:00

Here is somebody's hard work used to benefit myself...

Fuck My Life...

2009-11-03T08:55:00.000-08:00

Another Nail in my Coffin...

2009-11-02T13:51:00.001-08:00

And This is what I resort to... FML

Time after Time...

2009-10-29T17:03:00.000-07:00

I always say I'm gonna get on the posts, I never do. I will be posting pictures that I stole from other respectable websites and blogs until I come up with some thing good to bitch about. In the mean time enjoy the pictures, or coffin nails.

We Wanted to Get you the Most Metal Gift Ever...

2009-09-10T10:48:00.000-07:00

DISAPPOINTMENT!!!!!!!!

One Month of no posting = No Visits Anymore

2009-09-10T09:44:00.000-07:00

But for those lucky few who havent given up on me, I present to you the most metal motherfucker in the game....

I have an million dollar Idea!

2009-07-29T14:35:00.000-07:00

Let's mix several of the greatest musics ever into one super-duper musics! You love it when there is that weird robot voice in all your raps, right? Ok, now do you like screamy metal-ish mall emo stuff? Holy fuck you love it too! Now what if you mixed that shit with mother fucking O-town? Ill tell you what if, you would have a musical genre that would render all other genres obsolete. It will be like an orgy of awesomeness in your fucking brain....
Well guess what, a gang of meth addled kids from butt-fucking who cares beat me to it. And you know what, I think I'm gonna let them have it.

Skate Bikes!

2009-07-06T13:30:00.000-07:00

It's so awesome dude, Its like a fucking skateboard and a bike together! Shit even fake MJ is down...

Even this guy gets it...

2009-06-30T09:13:00.000-07:00

Long Time Coming...

2009-06-26T10:22:00.000-07:00

I've been pretty busy. Ill post something in the next week.

Homies...

2009-05-27T14:22:00.000-07:00

We will have to talk about this when your older...

2009-05-25T10:12:00.000-07:00

EMBED-Caught in the act - Watch more free videos

I Shit You Not...

2009-05-06T12:55:00.000-07:00

So according to BBC the swine flu can re-animate dead flesh. Hit the link and read the story... then saw off a shotgun and watch Shawn of the Dead 6 times.

***Update! A picture of one of the "zombies" been released, here it is...

Let's Go Camping!

2009-05-05T08:58:00.000-07:00

It's May, spring is here so lets go camping fuckers.

The Naked Wizard...

2009-04-23T13:51:00.000-07:00

Naked Wizard Tased By Reality from Tracy Anderson on Vimeo

Coachella must have been so trippy

Breaking News Satan is Dead!

2009-04-22T08:30:00.000-07:00

Apparently these cock suckers killed Satan, how awesome of them to hold a funeral in celebration of his lifework. Too bad they got the wrong god, jokes on you motherfuckers, HA!

For Scumador...

2009-04-20T11:21:00.000-07:00

Poetry project Part 2: Please present your poem creatively for the class.

The Hipster Grifter...

2009-04-16T13:04:00.000-07:00

This bitch is gnar, who the fuck would brag about working for the Coachella festival?

Click the Picture to read all about it.

Ever Wonder How your TV Works?

2009-04-16T09:30:00.000-07:00

Thank Cthulhu Bjork has stepped up to the plate and shed some light on this mystery.

The world is getting perv-ier

2009-04-04T11:05:00.000-07:00

The Votes are in...

2009-04-01T09:58:00.001-07:00

A face tattoo it is! I do have to say I'm pretty happy only six of you wanted me to kill myself, that would suck. I have decided to put the fate of my face in your hands by asking you "what should I get tattooed on my face?". The comments section is open so feel free to post your suggestions there (no anonymous comments you pussies). I would also like to Congratulate "El Scumador" on correctly identifying the photo of the dude with his brains all over his room as Dead the (former) front man of the band Mayhem. Your prize is pending since I cant bring our pal and his band mate Euronymous back from Valhalla to play a private show for Easter dinner. Perhaps an even better tidbit of news, is that the man responsible for the death of Euronymous and (alleged) multiple church burnings has been released on parole, the man behind black metal's legendary Burzum and all round good guy Mr. Varg Vikernes. Lets all keep our fingers crossed that the follow-up to 1999's Hliðskjálf is on its way.

New Poll - Street Cred...

2009-03-24T09:51:00.000-07:00

Since I ruined my Ollie muscles and can't jump (for some fucking reason, I blame Snowboarding), what trend should I subscribe to in order to beef up my street cred? There are tons of trends going on in skateboarding (past and present). Some past trends include, killing a chick and burying her in the desert, Rapping or going to prison and reemerging a "saved man". For the sake of this poll I have weeded the possibilities down to my top 5 favourites. Its your fucking call, I am a pawn in this game of cool.

1. Get a Face Tat.

Seems to be very popular these days, Braydon did it, Antwan (above) did it best and J. Rogers did it worst.

2."Custom motorcyles"

Very popular amongst some of my favourite skateboarders like Max and Rick.

3. Cash in on the Street Wear Craze

Keith Hufnagel did it, I could do it too. All I need is to brush up on my "Raps" and "Sneaker Knowledge" . No Problem!

4. Fixies!

I know you are all bored of this and I have talked about it so much (too much), but I feel that it is still relevant today. It is now spilling into the mainstream and creating its own identity. What was once for an elite few is now for everyone!

5. Quit, everything.

This is self explanatory, and seems like the next logical step in my progression as a "skateboarder".

Fun extras! First comment naming the guy in the photo above with a brief explanation of the photo's significance wins a award of exponential proportions.

Poll Closes at the End of the Month.

Regina is cold...

2009-03-12T16:07:00.000-07:00

Which is awesome because you get to have a collection of sweet pea-coats and toques and stuff. You can also be an ultimate fighter, like Kevin. Here is a photo of him man handling a crazy gap. It must be all the xyence.

The Return of Hate...

2009-03-09T10:57:00.000-07:00

Who the fuck... I mean... Seriously... uuuggghhh. I am at a loss for words right now. The worst music ever made came out of this... I can only imagine what her kid will be like.

Just another party...

2009-03-04T08:14:00.000-08:00

I'm running out of pic's of Tom on this computer, Ill have to tap into the reserve on the old one.
This is just an average Tuesday night at Jesse's place in July.

I put up this last one because he looks like my fucking dad. He is even smoking player's light cigs and has a sweet new haircut.

When your drinking at the beach...

2009-03-03T08:58:00.000-08:00

Its important to protect yourself from the sun. The best way to combat sun stroke is to put on a hat. A pink fuzzy hat.

Some times you just feel the music...

2009-03-02T17:41:00.000-08:00

And need to rock the fuck out. No shirt, jean skirt and air guitar.

Substituting a broom for the Air enhances the experience.

But a dog really sets the air instrument bar...

Tom Kuzma party pics all week long as a salute unemployment.

What a month...

2009-02-23T09:33:00.000-08:00

Sorry about the no posts. I have been busy hanging out with my cat. My guess is no one will read this. Here is a picture of a high five gone wrong, this guy was wearing a skirt.

Minus 24 Degrees and Counting...

2009-01-16T10:29:00.000-08:00

On my way to Winnipeg and something tells me its going to be cold...

New poll, Old Poll

2009-01-09T10:16:00.000-08:00

I thought every one was gonna go with fixed gears, but what do I know. I too shall rejoice, remember the early 90's? Oh yea, you were born in '91 my bad, oops. New poll, with this "exodus" to Victoria I ask you all what will you do once you get there?

Work/Hang out at McDonald's
Settle Down
Play your Drums by the whale wall
Start a bad ass fixed gear team like you always dreamed

Basically those are the only things I can think of to do there. People will say that the skate scene is super rad and I don't disagree (that it is awesome) but as we all know you are too Old to be playing with toys. Its time to grow up and think about your future. Your vote will stop terror, if you don't vote our future is uncertain.

Have Fun...

2009-01-09T10:12:00.001-08:00

I hear that there will be a mass exodus from Naniamo to Victoria in the up coming months. Enjoy the college "bros" and super fun no skate zones guys!

Christmas Getting...

2009-01-05T12:49:00.000-08:00

I got a Wii from Baby Jesus, I'm too busy to post. I will put something good up later this week. Sorry, management

News From The Island...

2008-12-19T12:11:00.001-08:00

Jay @ Dna just dropped me a line to let me know that the shop is expanding into the exciting realm of Xtreme sport!

Dna is now offering customers a wide selection in Kite Boards, Climbing equipment and fixed gear bikes. So after your silly sweater party, throw on your pea-coat and head on down and check out the new gear. Expect big things in 2009 from the gang, I hear Jay and the team are already filming for a new fixed gear video!

I don't want to come off like a douche but...

2008-12-05T10:20:00.000-08:00

I see these little blue gloves all over the fucking place.

I know where they come from too, the VPD uses them to protect themselves from blood, shit, jizz or whatever harmful fluid they may come in contact with when subduing a perpetrator. That's awesome, I would wear them too but when I am done with them I would pick them the fuck up off the front step of the apartment I used to smash the perp's face on and put them in the garbage. Don't get me wrong, I think the environment sucks, but I also think that a glove covered in shit might me a risk to children (who I cannot stand), animals, stupid people ect. Do you think that the VPD would be syked if, after skating a spot, I left behind a couple pairs of little blue gloves? Fuck no, they would fuck me up and take me to jail for littering. I'm just saying if you make a mess clean it the fuck up. Wow, I am a douche...

I don't smoke weed...

2008-12-04T10:35:00.000-08:00

Because its illegal. Whatever, this is pretty awesome and totally irrelevant. What ever, eat it up stoner bro's because when the Cthulhu rises...

Food tastes better when it is made out of MEAT.

2008-11-28T11:25:00.000-08:00

I know lots of people who are vegetarian or whatever. I think you are all great people, but fuck I want you to cook ribs with me on skateboard adventures. It used to be punk, I know, but it isn't anymore. Remember when you broke your edge at that BME party? Its time to embrace gods gift to Humans, non-humans that are delicious. I say if god didn't want us to eat animals he wouldn't have made them out of meat. Here are some charts I found online that break down all the awesome-est areas of popular animals that are good to eat. Enjoy. If you have any questions just let me know, Ill be happy to accommodate you. So lets all rush out and break our "Meat Edge" this weekend.

Thank god its Friday!

2008-11-28T09:39:00.000-08:00

This whole week felt like, I don't know... It was pretty rough... ummmm. This video best describes Monday Nov. 24 through Thursday Nov. 27... Shit I am bitching alot these days.

I'm out of shit to post...

2008-11-26T09:41:00.000-08:00

It's been a busy week at work. I do have this sweet cat art saved in my pictures. This would look great in the middle of my living room. Go to Beastwick blog, download some music and watch Dave talk about snacks.

New Employee!

2008-11-13T14:09:00.000-08:00

Since I am now a cyber-wizard (I got 21 votes on my poll) I have hired someone as head of non-human resources. Please welcome my cat Kenicky to the team. I should have your budget sorted out by early next week. Whatever, I just wanted to show off this sweet picture of my cat. Fucking hipster.

Snowboarders Win...

2008-11-13T14:04:00.000-08:00

Or lose depending on how you look at it. I thought they were kind of boners but I wasn't sure. 21 votes is awesome, way to go democracy. Thanks to everyone who voted for me, I always like to think of myself as a #1 boner.

I need an answer.

2008-11-05T12:02:00.000-08:00

I need a little help from you guys, I Enjoy snowboarding a lot, and I go and do "the boarding" more than your average "Snowboarder". Coming from a skateboard background, I am just wondering if snowboarders look at skateboarders the same way I look at them. I see a bunch of spoiled boners who dress retarded and get all pissy when things don't go THEIR way. I know not all snowboarders are actually like this (some of my best friends are "snowboarders") and many skaters are. This is what I see, If the book has a shitty cover I just assume it has shitty words and paragraphs and shit too. I might lose some friends over this, but whatever I'm not in it to win friends. This ain't the fucking Hills. Please review the photos and vote to your right. Thanks,

Arizona Wins!!!

2008-11-03T09:36:00.000-08:00

Its official, Arizona has taken the election. After a bumpy campaign road, Arizona has beaten all the odds and emerged victorious! We can look forward to 4 more years of the sweet tea we have always enjoyed time after time. Arizona would like to thank the 6 people who voted (that hopefully represent 1% of total viewers) and introduce his cabinet to you... Lets all welcome the Arizona team to power. All hail Arizona!

Only Hours Left to Vote...

2008-10-30T11:20:00.000-07:00

Make it count, its all evened up! Get of the couch you hippie-commie fucks! What's wrong you hate Democracy? Do you hate Iced Tea? Or do you hate Freedom? If your not with us your against us!

Its Election time!

2008-10-23T15:01:00.000-07:00

Its that time of the year again, Canada just had their federal elections, Vancouver is having their municipal election any day now and in a few weeks Americans will head to the polls. So in honor of democracy, I have developed my very own election to determine which Iced Tea I will drink for the next four years. Please choose carefully from 3 very different selections as you can only vote once. It time to exercise your rights and vote for the iced tea you feel best represents "Think Fast Hipster".

Space Hipsters Whatever!

2008-10-21T16:26:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I'm posting this but people get restless when you take a week off. So choke on this fuckos.

Glad I'm not a Vegan

2008-10-09T11:38:00.001-07:00

Beastwick, whats for dinner? I know what I'm going to have...

Holy Fuck stop the fucking press... This is real,

Fuck these guys...

Oh my Fucking God,

2008-10-08T10:16:00.000-07:00

I don't know why but this fucking fixed gear thing fucking makes me furious. I love riding bikes don't get me wrong, but this has gone too far. Fact: there are people out there who accually make videos of themselves riding down hills, riding up hills, riding over hills and calling themselves pioneers. Fact: Bikes have been around for-fucking-ever, you are not a pioneer. Fact: Bikes have nothing to do with Skateboards, so don't say that riding your fixed gear makes you stoked to skate. Jesus fucking Christ! I don't hate everyone who rides one, like I said bikes are fun and I love riding them. I guess you could say "I just dont understand", which I don't because I think gears are awesome. Oh yea, for the record, skateparks are for skateboards. It dosnt matter what kind of bike your riding, if I see it in the bowl, I'm throwing it into a tree.

Go back to East Van you posers...

2008-10-06T13:56:00.000-07:00

Look at these three losers. I was walking by Antisocial and saw these fucks drinking in the alley. I got news for you the ally way is not in East Vancouver, go back home.

Pay attention kids...

2008-10-06T09:51:00.001-07:00

Remember last year when all you guys were 19 and saying "remeber the 80's". Well I dont really get it, because I was born in 1981 and I dont remeber shit. Anyway... you fuckers should listen to Mr. T, since he is your fucking Jesus and be somebody. Fools.

Who is this loser,

2008-10-03T09:57:00.001-07:00

I see him everywere, he is trying way too fucking hard.

The Devil

2008-10-03T09:49:00.000-07:00

I hear this bro is cool now. Jesus is out, everyone is totally into him now. You were the first person you knew to go to church and now you just can't all the losers there anymore. Time to make the "switch", the left hand path awaits.

Now for rent...

2008-09-29T14:22:00.000-07:00

Who Cares about rats, tetnis or crime, Its only $1500 per month and in Strathcona!

This man will...

2008-09-24T17:39:00.000-07:00

Melt your fucking face off. Ladies and Gentlemen Mr. Conway Twitty...

Monday Night will Melt your Face off

2008-09-18T08:55:00.002-07:00

Fucking Carcass Reunion, Suffocation and a bunch of other bangers are going to fuck - you - up.

Friday @ the Cobalt

2008-09-18T08:55:00.001-07:00

Fucking Metal

Your a hipster so you must die...

2008-09-18T08:55:00.000-07:00

Die Hipster Die